Each year I watch American Idol the fast food equivalent of Pop Music and each year I swear I won't ever watch it again. But I will and I'll blog about it too.
When I heard Miley Cyrus was going to be on American Idol as a mentor, I thought it was a joke.... well, it kind of was. As one person commented out on the blogosphere "Miley is going to mentor the Idol contestants? What will she teach them....pole dancing?"
Seems a direct insult to people like Crystal Bowersox, to take "mentoring" from a trampy, seventeen year old, gum chewing child of privilege.
We have reached the Nails on a Chalkboard stage of American Idol .....oh, I guess that already happened a few year ago, but anyway. Guest judge Avril Lavigne came across like a spoiled teenage brat last night. With her black eyes and her horned hoodie, she looked like a child prostitute trying to score drug money. She's twenty five and getting divorced? NO kidding? Her disrespect towards contestants shed some light on her personality that won't win her any new fans and will probably turn off a few old ones. Did she actually say "no" to Pastor Jim Ranger because he had kids?
Ah, what a breath of fresh air Katy Perry was - from her snide comment on the ridiculousness of the judges arriving by helicopter to putting Kara in her place more than once, I just loved the girl. My only disappointment is that she didn't actually have to carry through on the threat to throw her coke in Kara's face. Someone should, like the next time Kara condescendingly utters the word "sweetie". Gag.
That kind of says it all, doesn't it? Simon said he had a horrible feeling the song could be a hit and it looks like it might have already happened. It is, unfortunately, one of those songs that you just can't get out of your head.
Can you believe its time for American Idol once again? This show really is a pain in the ass, but I'm watching again, at least for the toe-curling, embarrassingly cringe-worthy display of mentally ill American youngsters on parade. I see my enjoyment of this segment of American Idol as a character flaw, I really do.
So, last night:
Simon was on top form, Randy was his normal self, and Kara is so much more comfortable in her judge's seat now, that she actually scolded a contestant and told him he needed a spanking. A spanking? Interesting choice of words. First time there was a glimmer of light in Andrew Fenlon's deeply disturbed eyes. I didn't hate him, did you? The guy had a kind of retro-Beatnik vibe going on, I was mesmerized for a moment. Mostly auditioning for American Idol seemed to be just one big inconvenience for Andrew Fenlon. I think he overplayed his shtick..... I'm hoping it was just a shtick.
And what about Victoria Beckham? The woman is so darn skinny, I had to get up to make myself a snack. I think its too bad Ellen couldn't already be on board for this part of the show, because she knows comedy and some of this stuff was laugh out loud funny.
Like Simon's comment to Norberto Guerrero: "The fact that you were singing like that with a beard made it even more strange - you sing like a three-year-old girl, you dress like Latoya Jackson, and you have a beard." Simon was just being kind.
A lot of those obnoxious teens really do need spanking. "This meant everything to me" they cry as they get rejected. You're sixteen, shut the f*ck up and go do your homework.
There were some good auditions, some bad auditions, but mostly I just hate American Idol for shining a light on the sickness of it all.
Kara DioGuardi has been signed on for the next season of American Idol. Now, I know in the beginning I wasn't a Kara fan, but I kind of warmed up to her, especially after her little stunt upstaging the bikini wearing trollop on the American Idol finale. She's alright.
But lets face it, the four judge format just didn't work. The balance was tilted and American Idol was always running overtime. I know I've made fun of the loopy Paula Abdul and her incoherent ramblings, but isn't that a part of why we watch? If this was just another talent competition with boring judges (think America's Got Talent) then why would we bother?
I wonder if signing Kara means Paula Abdul is out. I hope not, but then you know I swear I won't watch another season of American Idol anyway.....
Who is Alexis Cohen you may wonder. She was one of the more colorful American Idol auditions from Season 7 and also returned for season 8. She was found dead early this morning, a possible hit and run. Here is Alexis Cohen's memorable audition from season 8:
Fox Network will be airing a two hour special of American Idol tonight. The Michael Jackson Night episode originally aired March 10th of this year. Here is the musical lineup:
* Lil Rounds – The Way You Make Me Feel * Scott MacIntyre – Keep the Faith * Danny Gokey – Pretty Young Thing * Michael Sarver – You Are Not Alone * Jasmine Murray – I’ll Be There * Kris Allen – Remember the Time * Allison Iraheta – Give in to Me * Anoop Desai – Beat It * Jorge Nunez – Never Can Say Goodbye * Megan Joy – Rockin’ Robin * Adam Lambert – Black and White * Matt Giraud – Human Nature * Alexis Grace – Dirty Diana
