Miley Cyrus Mentors American Idol Contestants

When I heard Miley Cyrus was going to be on American Idol as a mentor, I thought it was a joke.... well, it kind of was. As one person commented out on the blogosphere "Miley is going to mentor the Idol contestants? What will she teach them....pole dancing?"

Seems a direct insult to people like Crystal Bowersox, to take "mentoring" from a trampy, seventeen year old, gum chewing child of privilege.

Avril Lavigne - Arrested Development

We have reached the Nails on a Chalkboard stage of American Idol .....oh, I guess that already happened a few year ago, but anyway. Guest judge Avril Lavigne came across like a spoiled teenage brat last night. With her black eyes and her horned hoodie, she looked like a child prostitute trying to score drug money. She's twenty five and getting divorced? NO kidding? Her disrespect towards contestants shed some light on her personality that won't win her any new fans and will probably turn off a few old ones. Did she actually say "no" to Pastor Jim Ranger because he had kids?

Ah, what a breath of fresh air Katy Perry was - from her snide comment on the ridiculousness of the judges arriving by helicopter to putting Kara in her place more than once, I just loved the girl. My only disappointment is that she didn't actually have to carry through on the threat to throw her coke in Kara's face. Someone should, like the next time Kara condescendingly utters the word "sweetie". Gag.

American Idol - Pants on the Ground

That kind of says it all, doesn't it? Simon said he had a horrible feeling the song could be a hit and it looks like it might have already happened. It is, unfortunately, one of those songs that you just can't get out of your head.

American Idol 201 - Bring on the Spankings

Can you believe its time for American Idol once again? This show really is a pain in the ass, but I'm watching again, at least for the toe-curling, embarrassingly cringe-worthy display of mentally ill American youngsters on parade. I see my enjoyment of this segment of American Idol as a character flaw, I really do.

So, last night:

Simon was on top form, Randy was his normal self, and Kara is so much more comfortable in her judge's seat now, that she actually scolded a contestant and told him he needed a spanking. A spanking? Interesting choice of words. First time there was a glimmer of light in Andrew Fenlon's deeply disturbed eyes. I didn't hate him, did you? The guy had a kind of retro-Beatnik vibe going on, I was mesmerized for a moment. Mostly auditioning for American Idol seemed to be just one big inconvenience for Andrew Fenlon. I think he overplayed his shtick..... I'm hoping it was just a shtick.



And what about Victoria Beckham? The woman is so darn skinny, I had to get up to make myself a snack. I think its too bad Ellen couldn't already be on board for this part of the show, because she knows comedy and some of this stuff was laugh out loud funny.

Like Simon's comment to Norberto Guerrero: "The fact that you were singing like that with a beard made it even more strange - you sing like a three-year-old girl, you dress like Latoya Jackson, and you have a beard." Simon was just being kind.

A lot of those obnoxious teens really do need spanking. "This meant everything to me" they cry as they get rejected. You're sixteen, shut the f*ck up and go do your homework.

There were some good auditions, some bad auditions, but mostly I just hate American Idol for shining a light on the sickness of it all.

What About Paula?

Kara DioGuardi has been signed on for the next season of American Idol. Now, I know in the beginning I wasn't a Kara fan, but I kind of warmed up to her, especially after her little stunt upstaging the bikini wearing trollop on the American Idol finale. She's alright.

But lets face it, the four judge format just didn't work. The balance was tilted and American Idol was always running overtime. I know I've made fun of the loopy Paula Abdul and her incoherent ramblings, but isn't that a part of why we watch? If this was just another talent competition with boring judges (think America's Got Talent) then why would we bother?

I wonder if signing Kara means Paula Abdul is out. I hope not, but then you know I swear I won't watch another season of American Idol anyway.....

Alexis Cohen the Glitter Girl - RIP

Who is Alexis Cohen you may wonder. She was one of the more colorful American Idol auditions from Season 7 and also returned for season 8. She was found dead early this morning, a possible hit and run. Here is Alexis Cohen's memorable audition from season 8:

American Idol - Michael Jackson Tribute

Fox Network will be airing a two hour special of American Idol tonight. The Michael Jackson Night episode originally aired March 10th of this year. Here is the musical lineup:


* Lil Rounds – The Way You Make Me Feel
* Scott MacIntyre – Keep the Faith
* Danny Gokey – Pretty Young Thing
* Michael Sarver – You Are Not Alone
* Jasmine Murray – I’ll Be There
* Kris Allen – Remember the Time
* Allison Iraheta – Give in to Me
* Anoop Desai – Beat It
* Jorge Nunez – Never Can Say Goodbye
* Megan Joy – Rockin’ Robin
* Adam Lambert – Black and White
* Matt Giraud – Human Nature
* Alexis Grace – Dirty Diana

Adam Lambert on the Cover of Rolling Stone

Click on the picture for the large version:

American Idol - The Winner is........I'm Sorry, What???!!!

I don't watch American Idol any more, with the exception of Adam Lambert. I will watch him, because finally, finally, FINALLY, in the 8th season there is someone who is truly an America Idol with star quality.

There was no doubt in my mind that Adam Lambert would win, none at all. I was sure that it was written somewhere, in stone, high on a mountain top, that this guy was going to be the winner.

I'm disgusted.

But then again, at least he doesn't have to keep singing the usual schmaltzy song winners are obligated to record and sing over and over and over for the rest of their lives. This year the drippy-hippy song, No Boundaries, was co-written by Kara Dioguardi.

Yes, no kidding, sweet, talented-in-a-run-of-the-mill-kind-of-way Kris Allen won over wild and delicious Adam Lambert.

Okay, having vented, I have not yet watched the show here on the West Coast, so I will have more comments after seeing how this plays out.

American Idol - The End

I cannot watch another episode of American Idol ever again. I’m done. Finished. Kaput. I’m embarrassed that it took me so long to free myself from this albatross of a TV show.

They did themselves no favors by bringing Kara DioGuardi on board. She’s pretty, she’s talented and seems coherent in contrast to Paula, but she’s about as warm as ice kabobs.

Watching all those young people auditioning with their overblown egos and sense of entitlement and mediocre talent at best, this seems to be a television program that showcases the worst of American youth, not the best, and should have gone out with the Bush Administration.

I will continue to maintain the website, update on Idols Past, but I am finally done with American Idol, the television show.

American Idol - January 14, 2009

Its quite clear the four judge format is not working, but since these auditions were taped, we are stuck with it for a while. The two women seem reduced to silly schoolgirls while Simon and Randy sit awkwardly to the side. Something has been lost, or maybe the show has just run its course with viewers.

Last night....... I can't even remember anyone. Oh, wait, Lil Rounds! Now there's a talented lady who has the whole thing going on. Perhaps a little too much going on, with the husband, the three kids all at the age of 23. So far, she's a favorite.

Then there was Danny Gokey, the young widower. His wife Sophia had just passed away twelve weeks before the audition and he had a lot of emotion going on. He's a likable guy with a decent voice.

Hank Williams was no doubt turning in his grave last night, when Michael Nicewonder auditioned and claimed to be related to Mr. Williams.

Then we had Jason Castro's brother Michael. Sitting there with his effeminate hair do, he had the nerve to call his brother the girlie one. He was arrogant enough to claim he had just started singing a few days prior to the audition because he figured if his brother could do it, so could he. I can't wait to see the arrogant little prick humbled in Hollywood.

So there we have it - four hours of our lives this week. Four hours of lots of commercials with a little American Idol thrown in here and there.

Why do we watch?

American Idol - A Judge Too Many

Make a choice. Paula or Kara. Its clear from the season opener that the addition of another judge doesn't work. Watching Kara and Paula digress into pajama party mentality didn't spice the show up and this show needs something, because even the really bad auditions have, eight seasons in, lost their shock value.

The season opener's bad auditions seemed not so much bad as pathetic. Randy Madden, would-be rock and roller and self proclaimed Rock Star in a Box, tried his best to look the part, but somehow crying through the whole audition process negated the bad-ass-dude image he so desperately wanted to portray. He's a prime example of what working in a cubicle does to people's mental well being.

Michael Gurr needed a laxative or a labotomy or both.

Then there is the Queen of Mediocrity, Katrina Darrell. There are millions of people on this planet with talent. Having a fantastic derriere is not a talent, but it did seem to gum up the ears of Randy and Simon. They should have had the blind fellow replace the male judges for this annoying and pathetic audition.

Which reminds me, did you see Ryan Seacrest try to High Five Scott McIntyre?




Emily Wynne-Hughes, Stevie Wright and Arianna Afsar will be worth watching before we forget all about them, just like the throngs of hopefuls before them. Look back. Who do you remember from American Idol?

American Idol Season 8

Its that time again. Are you ready?

Split: David Cook and Kimberly Caldwell

Apparently just before the holidays David and Kimberly called it quits.

Caldwell's rep had this to say:

"The couple remain good friends and, being very private people, appreciate their privacy at this time."

Very private? Here is a little reminder of how private they were when he asked her out on a first date:

American Idol Anthem

Give us your nut jobs, your freaks

Your delusional masses yearning
to be famous
The laughing stocks of your
teeming streets
Send these, the rejects, the misfits,
to us
We lift the microphone beside the
Golden Door to Hollywood
and mock them, that they ever dared
to dream the Idol dream.
- jo gillis

American Idol Suicide - Paula Goodspeed

As much as I love the audition process of American Idol, the show does attract a good share of deluded and mentally unstable people. People who are exploited for entertainment value and I'll admit, I have found it to be entertaining. But what happens to these people after we've had our laugh?

Ticking time bombs.

Paula Goodspeed, a former American Idol contestant and obsessed Paula Abdul fan has been found dead in a car yards from Abdul's home, an apparent suicide. News is still coming in regarding the young woman's death. A woman with a history of mental problems who had one of "those" audition on American Idol two years ago:

Simon Cowell - Married to His Job

Simon Cowell and longtime girlfriend Terri Seymour have split, but not because anyone new has come into the picture. Simon just has no interest in being married and raising a family and apparently she'd like to take that path. Although he and Terri have parted, they plan to remain the greatest of friends.

Paris Gives Birth to Egypt

Remember little Paris Bennett? The little girl with the big voice from season five of American Idol gave birth to a daughter, Egypt, on Monday. The baby's Daddy prefers to remain out of the spotlight.

Paris is all of twenty now and has a Christmas CD scheduled to come out on October 14. The album's title is A Royal Christmas, which comprises traditional holiday tunes including;12 Days of Christmas, Little Drummer Boy, Silent Night and Deck the Halls. There is an original song Holla Day Shuffle, written by her mother, Jamecia Bennett, who is a singer/songwriter.

LaKisha Jones Marries

Remember LaKisha? I was less than kind to her during her run on American Idol in 2007, calling her "Mini Mandesa" and being unkind to her face in this post.

Lakisha got married on Sunday to her financial adviser Larry Davis at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel. Sanjaya and Melinda were in attendance.

Lakisha has an album coming out in February. We wait with baited breath.

Clay Aiken on the Cover of People Magazine

Yes, I'm Gay - October 6th, 2008 Issue of People Magazine