Thursday, May 24, 2007

American Idol - Jordin Sparks Wins

blakeandjordinfinale.jpgThe suspense to find out who the next American Idol would be, was almost too much.

The show opened with Randy saying “Dude, I think it’s going to be a hot night”. He thinks he’s Paris Hilton. Everything is hot.

Gwen Stefani did her favorite song from her new CD. It was dreadfully dull, but she sang it while dressed up as a strawberry truffle, which was rather interesting. A truffle with black stockings and high heels.

Kelly Clarkson came out and shouted out a song. Thigh High boots were not a smart choice.

They did the Golden Idol Awards and Margaret Fowler won the first one. She was there in her oversized Tweety Bird outfit. They gave her much too much air time the first time.

What happened to Constantine Maroulis? Didn’t the dude used to be hot?

David Hasselhoff was smiling.

bestbuddies.jpgUp for the next Golden Idol award was the Best Buddies Award. We all knew who would win, and it wasn’t going to be Simon and Ryan or the tramp sisters, Antonella and Amanda. It was good to see Jonathan Jayne and Kenneth Briggs again. Okay, it was really creepy to see them again, although Jonathan seems like a nice kid having a good time. Kenneth is Circus material. X-Files Circus material. Ryan says that American Idol sponsored a Bush Baby at the Milwaukee Zoo under the name of Simon. That’s kind of funny if it’s true. They have a Bush Baby at the Milwaukee Zoo, but no mention on the zoo's website of it being named Simon.

Ryan gave Jordin and Blake keys to their brand new Ford Mustangs.

The suspense was really getting to me. Who would win?

Carrie Underwood slowed down the pace with another boring song. At some point she was dressed as a moth.

Clive Davis came out and said that American Idol was a franchise and the contest was a sham and it didn't matter who won, because even an a conceited asshole like Chris Daughtry, who was voted off before Elliot Yamin, can come in and knock the current Idol, Taylor Hicks, right out of the playing field by selling a bazillion records against the two records Taylor Hicks sold. Or something like that.

smotasia.jpgHe talked about Fantasia and the camera focused on Smokey Robinson. I guess when Smokey wears a pair of earrings, he’s a dead ringer for Fantasia.

Then there was Sanjaya backed up by Joe Perry. The little girl who cried was in the audience. She was crying. Maybe because she knew she was the butt of so many jokes, or perhaps they just pepper sprayed her again.

Green Day was more boring than the boring acts before them. They sang Working Class Hero and the lyrics to the song were:

A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be

taylorhicks.jpgTaylor Hicks. Smooth. He looked good and I woke up a bit.

Jordin finally got to sing with someone who made her look normal sized. I had no idea Rubin was so huge. I wanted to see him stand next to Blake.

The suspense was unbearable.

Bette Midler. Oh my. She sounded like an old lady. Okay, she’s 60 something, but you don’t expect someone heading to Vegas to take over from Celine to sound like an old lady, you know? That little twirl of the leather skirt was scary, not sexy.

Talking of Scary, Randy and Paula danced to Wind Beneath My Wings.

Kelly Clarkson came out and shouted out Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Heartclub Band.

Carrie Underwood sang She’s Leaving Home wearing a dress she must have borrowed from Haley Scarnato’s wardrobe.

Cool commercial for the movie Transformers. I want to see it. I wanted to see it that very minute instead of the watching Idol. I have to wait until July.

It finally gets to the end of the show and we hear the judges opinions one more time for no particular reason.

Simon goosed Paula. Why? Because he can.

I need to know who won!!

jordinwins1.jpgThe winner is Jordin. I am shocked, just shocked. Oh wait, I’d already checked the results before I watched the show. There was no suspense. Only dullness and boredom.

Blake is relieved that he’s not the one who’s first hit song is going be “This is My Friggin’ Now”.

Jordin sings it.

Group Hug. Shows Over.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

American Idol Fans Choose a Sappy Song that Sucks

blakeandjordin.jpgThis is My Now. That song won the songwriting competition? If the winner of American Idol is the contestant who was able to sing the sappy song the best, it will be Jordin. Poor Blake did his best, but damn, that song was awful. AWFUL. Cringe-worthy.

There were 25,000 entries in this competition and this is what American Idol creator and producer Simon Fuller had to say about the winning entry:
“This song clearly resonated with the American Idol fans and was the clear winner of the Songwriter competition. Scott and Jeff wrote a song that speaks to why ‘American Idol’ is so popular – the pursuit and achievement of dreams and taking advantage of the moment.”

Gag.

Apart from that, the rest of the show was pretty lackluster. Jordin stuck to her same old boring routine, singing the same old boring songs in the same old boring way. Blake is much more fun, but he would have done better with Time of the Season over She Will be Loved, but apparently Blake doesn't want to win American Idol.

Tomorrow, it's over. Thursday So You Think You Can Dance starts again, which is much more entertaining and not nearly as annoying.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

American Idol - the Final Three

blakemelindajordin.jpg

Updated 5/17/07:

What was going on with Simon and Paula last night? They were sharing little inside jokes and being touchy-feely. Even Ryan Seacrest seemed out of the loop last night, or perhaps Simon was right and Ryan was drunk?

Paula may have managed to stay away from her stash of pills for most of the season, but as it creeps towards the end of this seemingly endless season of American Idol, it doesn't look like she'll make it through. She obviously took something last night that made Simon look good to her.

Does Randy Jackson know that he didn’t invent the phrase “Check it out” and that he says it at totally inappropriate times? He’d be cool if he wasn’t trying so hard to be cool.

American Idol was a better show last night. No Lakisha displaying her lack of personality. No charity pledges, no guest mentor’s ass to kiss, just the final three showing us what they’ve got.

Blake performing three songs was a real treat. "Roxanne", "This Love" and "When I Get You Alone". All three songs were well suited to his style and he seemed in his comfort zone last night.

Ryan asked Blake who would play him if they made a movie about his life and Blake replied that it would be Jim Carrey. Ryan said “because you’re so tall” referring to Blake's small stature against the 6’2” Carrey. Never mind that Jim Carrey is 45.

Jordin is a very talented young girl, but I’m just not a fan. She’s huge and yet she dresses in babydolls. Definitely not the look for a linebacker. I feel like I’ve seen and heard it all before when it comes to her style of singing. The arrangement of "Wishing on a Star" was disappointing. I’m sure she could have done that song justice. When she sang "I Who Have Nothing", she made my vocal cords hurt.

Melinda really pulled out the stops last night and she’s finally managed to look like she’s accepted the fact that she’s popular.

Who’s going to win? I have no clue, but Blake is still my favorite.

Greg Barber thinks “viewers will sling Blake out in a cardboard beatbox” tonight. For more on his take on American Idol, check it out at ReadExpress.

Update: Hey Greg, looks like Blake is riding his Cardboard Beatbox into the finale of American Idol! I'm going to be so happy when this season is over. Greg Barber's full recap of last night's show is worth a read.

Friday, May 4, 2007

American Idol - Last Man Standing

blakelewis.jpgNot much to say about American Idol, since most of this weeks show was showing us what we watched last week. The best thing about American Idol at this point is that it's almost over. I am glad Blake Lewis is still in the running, but I'm clueless as to why LaKisha is still there.

Melinda Doolittle has pulled out of her shell and looks less like a turtle each week.

Is Jordin a giant, or is Ryan Seacrest a little person?

Next week Barry Gibb is the guest mentor. Torture.